Keep Your Head Up

Sometimes it seems as though life is completely against you. At these moments all I want to do is scream or cry and just give up. When things happen that make me ask why, it's hard to remember that God is on my side, and that He wants what is best for me. Some things happen that make me question everything. I wonder how I will get over it, how I can change the outcome. But, in reality, I can't. No matter how much I want to take things into my own hands and change the outcome, nothing helps.

Getting mad at God is hard for me because He isn't physically here. I tend to take out my frustrations on others. No one deserves that, but it's easier to blame others than to blame myself. It's easier to fuss about it when I can't do anything else about it. But, what I really need to do is suck it up and trust God. He knows the desires of our hearts, He knows. That does not mean He will give us everything we want, but it gives us hope that if we are in the center of God's will, that our desires for ourselves match the desires that God has for us. We should all pray that our desires match up with God's, and if they don't pray that God will change your desires to fit His perfectly.

I am stubborn. I tend to pray like this, "God, please let this certain thing happen, let it be your will, but if not that's cool too, but please please let it be." I kinda think that that's not right. I want my desires for my life to match God's desires for my life, but what if my current desires are not what God has planned for me? That's what gets me. My stubbornness comes into play and I hold on to those desires I have for myself. I have a hard time letting things go. I don't like change.

 I feel like I need a legitimate neon sign from God telling me what to do. I walk around waiting for things to happen, rather than going for the things that I want. This is a big problem I have and because of it, I have missed out on so many amazing opportunities just waiting for my neon sign. It can be as clear as day, but I still do nothing about it. I make excuses because I'm comfortable where I am. My comfort zone has become quite a quaint place. I do not want to step out of my comfort zone. I do not like being in situations that make me uncomfortable. I am fearful of many things. I have so many irrational fears. It's pretty ridiculous. It's about time to get rid of those fears and pursue God whole-heartedly and have faith that God will bring me through any situation that is uncomfortable. He has to grow me and stretch me to make me the person He wants me to be. College has made me step out of my comfort zone a bit, but I always find myself going back into hibernation. It's partially just because that's my personality. I am shy and I like to have time to myself to just reflect and think about life. However, no matter what happens, I know that God will always have me in the palm of His hands and He will never let go. He knows what is best and I sincerely hope that my desires match His desires for my life.