Just See What Happens

“Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want, and just see what happens.”

After finishing exams this morning, I was on Pinterest and read the quote above. This quote really hit me hard. We as humans are always analyzing and over analyzing almost everything. It gets exhausting! I care way too much about the stupid things in life. I care about what other think about me more than I should. We look at our past and say it defines us. However, in my 20 years of living, I know that my past does not define me. My relationship with the one true King defines me. God takes us just as we are. We come to Him broken and He wants us. He fills in the missing pieces.

We live for the future. We are always doing one thing so that in the future we can do something else. It all builds upon one another. We go to school, to go to college, to get a career and a family, but then what? We work towards goal after goal after goal, but what happens when you have nothing else to work towards? If you always live for the future, you will eventually get burnt out and feel as though you have nothing to live for. Living today for Christ is the best thing we can do.

I am not one that expresses myself well, so I am always trying to figure out how I feel about certain situations and what to do about them. I spend too much time feeling anxious about what is to come and how I am going to feel, that by the time they get there, I am already too worn out to figure out how I actually do feel. I want people to tell me how I feel and what to do. I am one of the most indecisive people in the world. That is, because I care about what others think. I would rather make them happy than myself. I feel as though many people today have that issue as well. We want so badly to please other that we don’t care about ourselves. “Don’t be prideful.” It is not pride to care for yourself first. You cannot properly love someone until you love yourself first. But, before that, we must fall in love with Christ. He is first and foremost, and in falling in love with Him, we can learn to love ourselves. After that, it should all fall into place as the Lord allows it. We should not base out feelings, opinions, and decisions on others, only upon what we believe and feel.

The last part of the quote says, “...Just see what happens.” What? Just see what happens? That’s crazy! This can be a very hard concept to grasp. We all like to have control over what happens, but just waiting means it is not you who is making it happen. Think of that! God has complete control over our lives and He knows what will happen. If we just go with the flow, it means that we give up complete control to the One who created us. This concept is not one that I have mastered, but God is working with me on it as He has been for quite some time now. Perseverance goes a long way, my friend. If we could just relinquish that right to God, we will be in good hands. It does not mean you quit your job and sit on the couch from now on. It just means you deal with what comes when it comes. No planning out every detail of every day. Being prepared is one thing, analyzing and planning every detail is another.

Isaiah 41:13 “For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, ‘Fear not, I am the one who helps you.’”

Isaiah 64:8 “Yet you, Lord, are our Father, we are the clay, you are the potter, we are all the work of your hand.”

Like Music to My Ears

Music is very important to me. I listen to music throughout the day multiple times. It helps me get through my day. I’m the type of person who does not know how to express what I’m feeling to others. I can try and put it into words and fail completely. There is some music that expresses what I’m feeling so well, whether it’s the lyrical pattern or the words.

Music has power. It has the power to dictate the meaning of life to some. It has the power to turn heads. It has the power to produce tears and laughter. If you feel nothing, music can make you feel something. 

I’m definitely not one to cry or be very emotional at all, however, the message in music or the tone in a song has made me cry a time or two. I attended a wedding not too long ago and when the bride walked in, the song that was playing fit so perfectly. Not a single person could take their eyes off of the bride. The song was perfect for her walking down the aisle. It produced oohs and ahh’s, and tears for many. It was almost as if, in that moment, you could picture their new life together as it would be in 50 years. This is the power of music. There are other times in church or functions surrounded by other believers when a particular song that expresses every frustration in your life brings you to tears because you know that God is speaking to you through that song. This is the power in music. There are so many times in my life when I can do nothing but listen to music. I need to get away and just sit alone and listen to music. It helps me get me get my thoughts together. No talking, just me, God, and my music. I can have an impossible task before me, but after I listen to music and have time to think it over with God, I know what I have to do.

I don’t expect everyone to understand the power in music. Some people just aren't music people, as sad as it may be. I believe that music is a beautiful gift from God because He knows that sometimes we just don’t know what to say. Sometimes we need to hear from Him, and music is just one way that we can do that. I feel more at peace when I have time to just listen to music and hear from God.

Try and hear from God in the musical messages He may be sending. <3 

"Excuses, Approval, and Friendship"

We live in a world where everyone has an excuse. I missed work because I was sick. My dog ate my homework. I am the way I am because "fill in blank" happened to me as a child. It frustrates me to no end to see that everyone, myself included, has an excuse. Everyone has a story, sure. But, does that story really have to make you who you are? Does it have to be the cause of your problems? Do we really have all of these problems, or are we just using what society has taught us our problems are? I believe that we become who we are based on our experiences throughout life, but I do not believe we should let the problems we have faced in the past define our future. Sometimes, things in life are difficult and they do shape our future to some extent. However, letting those difficult situations rule you for the rest of your life is definitely not okay.

We each see ourselves one way or another. But, have you ever thought about what people see when they look at you? I often wonder this. I sometimes wish I could be a fly on the wall and be able to know what people say about me, but then again, would I really want to know? I am the type of person who seeks approval from others. When I don't have someone's approval, I will do everything in my power to change their mind. This is a major problem for me. God has been working with me on it, though. He is teaching me that I only need to seek approval from Christ, not my friends, not my family, not society, but only Him. It is definitely not easy, but I am learning that people cannot define who I am, only I can. So, I ask, who am I? Am I happy being the person I am? Am I really who I wanna be? I believe, there are times for both. I am a sinner, and that is not who I want to be, but I know that God is shaping me to be the person that He wants me to be. Even if others don't like the me that I am, God does, and that is all that matters.

I have some of the greatest friends I could ever ask for. These friends know me. I often think they know me better than I know myself. They do not judge me, they call me out--but in a loving way, they look out for me, and they want the best for me. I know that I can depend on my friends to give me their opinion, but then leave the rest to me. If I make the wrong decision, I know they will still be there for me. These girls are the ones who call me out and cry with me, but only because they love me. We can tell each other what we want to work on and expect accountability with that situation. I am blessed beyond belief with my friends. They have taught me that I do not need approval from others, not even them. I need only to do what I think is best and right in God's eyes. I make mistakes all the time, but not once do I hear, "I told you so." For that, I am thankful. I love each of these friends dearly and cannot thank them enough for what I have learned from them over the short time we have known each other.

Deserving Love

A popular quote from a newer movie called, “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” states, “We accept the love we think we deserve.” This quote has proven to be true over and over again; not only in my life, but also in the life of others. We see it every day. It could be in a friend dealing with relationships or past experiences, or maybe even in our own lives. Regardless of the circumstance, it’s there; all around. We don’t think we deserve to have someone love us on a personal level because of what we have done or who we have become. This topic is one that is world-wide. We see our loved ones go back to that guy who cheats on them, or beats them. We see youth hanging out with the wrong crowd. In many situations, we see people feeling unworthy to accept the love that Christ has made available to us.

If we dig deep into the earlier quote, we see that we are willing to deal with people and the things of the world because we believe that we do not deserve to have anything better than that. Some people have such a hard time believing that God loves them because they have done so many bad things, but God always forgives and He always loves with an everlasting, unconditional love. We may not deserve the love that Christ gives us, in fact, we don’t. But God loved us so much that He made that love available to us. We are beautiful, amazing creations of the Lord, and He wants us to have the kind of love that He gives us. He wants us to be happy and to feel loved and wanted.

Recent discussions have made me realize that no matter what has happened in life, or what you have done or gone through, there is someone out there willing to love you for you. God loves you no matter what, but God is also going to bring someone to love you completely. We may wonder who could love me when I have done such bad things or been through such rough things. But, God says, I have your life in My hands. He has a plan for your life and someone for you. He is preparing that person for you.

A dear friend of mine was talking to me about this subject and she said that when we go through rough things perhaps our future mate is feeling heavy hearted for us. Maybe he/she is praying for you right now. Regardless, we should start right now to pray for the one God is going to send us to marry. This thought stuck out to me and made me excited for what is to come in the future. But, for right now I am just going to live life to the fullest not worrying about who I am going to marry. I am going to focus on me and grow in my walk with the Lord and when I am ready, the Lord will bring me my manJ

Remember, you are treasured by God and one day a man of God or woman of God will treasure you for you. Live for today and for Christ, not things of the world. You deserve the LOVE that will leave you breathless, speechless, and taken aback (in a good way). Love will find you, but first, you must find yourself.

"The Taste of Bitterness"

Holding on to bitterness is just as bad as holding on to a grudge against someone. I am relatively good at not holding grudges. I forgive easily and try to move on as quickly as possible. The bitterness I feel however is still there after the apology and forgiveness has been established. Bitterness is not something that is easy to get rid of. Think of a food that is bitter. It’s not something water can cover. You need to eat or drink something not so bitter to cover it up. The same goes with me being bitter. I cannot just simply forgive the person and move on. I must pray constantly that God will take the bitterness from me, and help me to move on from things that are not worth the fight.

I hate fighting; especially when it is unnecessary and can be avoided. I try very hard to choose my battles wisely. There is no need to fight and argue about things that do not matter in the long run. Recently, an apology from someone I once could barely look at made things better. We were able to forgive and discuss something that had once hurt us both in the past. I am thankful for that apology. I am thankful that we are both able to now look past this. I am, however, still slightly bitter. The respect that I lost for this person is something that is going to be hard to get back. A part of me wants to say forget it, and usually, I do. Another part of me just can’t get past it. I think the things that take the longest to get over and to heal from, are the things that taught us the biggest lesson. I know that I have learned a lot from the different situations that I have been through that left me feeling bitter.

Jesus is my only Hope in getting past the bitterness and frustration that is buried deep inside me. I am aware of the way I am feeling, so that’s the first step, right?  I want to constantly justify my bitterness, but in reality I can’t. And that’s the worst part. How is God not bitter towards me? I don’t spend time with Him like I should, I am a huge sinner, and I don’t show Him how much I love Him. I’m absolutely awestruck at the fact that God forgives and loves me regardless of what I do. He is not bitter towards me; He is not holding a grudge toward me. He just forgives me and forgets about it. He loves me that much. I am so undeserving of His love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness. Even when we can’t forgive ourselves, God does forgive us. That is unconditional love.

I have been challenged to check my love tank. If my love tank was full, the love and JOY that God has given me would be overflowing to others. I would not desire to be anything but loving and kind to others. What is this?? My love tank is So. Not. Full. If it was, the bitterness would be gone, and I would have no other response than showing God’s love to others. I am working on being loving, kind and showing joy to others. It is not coming easy, but is definitely a step in the right direction. It’s okay for me to feel hurt by what has happened in the past, but the bitterness needs to go. I’m ready to let go and give it all to God. J

Priceless Jewels

Have you ever felt like you were living a life of fear? There are so many times in my life that I am fearful. Fearful of others, fearful of the unknown, fearful of failing, fearful of not being happy. I am constantly anxious about one thing or another—most of the time things that really aren't that big of a deal. I let my fear and doubt get in the way of me living. I almost feel like I am simply existing and going through the motions of the world.

In the world today, we let our feelings and emotions guide us, rather than letting the principles God has given us guide our every move. The pastor at church this morning talked about how we live a life based on emotions and compromise. We are willing to compromise rather than find God’s best and follow His principles. That truly is a heartbreaking fact of life.

 A movie that has recently come out has a quote in it that says, “We accept the love that we think we deserve.” I believe this is why we compromise. I’m not just talking about relationships, here. In every aspect in life, we don’t think we deserve much, so we are willing to compromise everything we once believed so strongly in. The fear and anxieties that work their way into our lives are emotions that do not belong. God does not want fear to guide us, He wants to guide us. He wants us to depend on Him in the times of fear, stress, sadness, and happiness. I do not want to compromise truly living my life because of fear and anxieties by simply just existing.

                                                                                                                                                                                         

If the quote from above about accepting the love we think we deserve is true, then most of us think we don’t deserve much. We believe that compromise is the best bet. However, God thinks differently. If we got the love that we deserved, we would have no love. God would not have sent His one and only Son to die on the cross for you. Jesus would not have taken your punishment. But, He did. His love is an overflowing ocean that we do not deserve. If God thinks of you as the valuable jewel that you are, then why should we compromise? You’re right….we shouldn't.

 God does not want you to compromise; He wants what is best for you. If we have waited and live out the principles that God has given us to live by without compromise, then won’t that be worth the wait? I believe so. We will feel better about ourselves and we will truly live and feel like living, rather than just existing and going through the motions.

If I had just compromised everything in life and continued living in a way that was not pleasing to God, it would make me question life. I would not want to live, but would only want to exist. “Compromise leads to compromise, leads to compromise.” Don’t let the world bring you down. Realize how priceless you are to God and recognize that compromise is not the right answer. Live out God’s principles and stay true to your beliefs. The happiness you will feel in the end will be worth all the time of waiting and not compromising.

We do not need to just sit and wait around for our flashing neon sign. We need to go after what God has called us to do. If we sit around waiting, it’s almost like compromising in the sense of time. We must step out of our comfort zone and go after what God has called of us. Some good friends of mine posted a status the other day saying, “There is no way you can be a Christian and have a comfort zone.” That made me think of how much I am stuck in my comfort zone and I need to get out. No matter how shy or afraid I am, I must step out and fulfill God’s purpose for my life. I must live out my love for Christ to others. God will give the strength and courage needed to step out and fulfill His purpose.  His love never fails.

"And they shall be Mine, says the Lord Almighty, in that day when I make up ‘My jewels" (Mal. 3:17)

"I'm Happy"

I am happy where I am. It's something we say when we feel at peace with how things are going, but often after its said, it's like waiting for the storm to come. Things are going so well right now, but what about tomorrow? Will tomorrow be the day when trials will come? Far too often when things are going well I find myself waiting for bad things to happen. Lately, I catch myself wondering when the bad will come, and when it doesn't come, I bring it upon myself. What is this nonsense?? Why would I mess up a great time in my life like that? Because if I start to make things not so great then it will be me who messed it up and me who can fix it again. This is wrong of me. God wants control of my life. Why is it that I can't let go and let God? It would be a much simpler life if I just gave God control of everything in my life, but taking that leap of faith is breaking me. It's making me realize just how scared of heights I am. It's not just a leap of faith, it's a jump off of the high dive into the love of Christ. Talking about it seems so easy. Just give it to God, right? No. If only it were that easy. Maybe I make things harder than they have to be, maybe I don't know how to give things to God. Nevertheless, I need to pray that God will help me know how to surrender all things to Him. 

Things in my life are good right now. I am happier than I have been in a while. I have let go of things that for the longest time held me back. I have opened the door to new things, and am pleased with life where it stands right now. That doesn't mean I don't have bad days. It doesn't mean my life is perfect, because it is far from it.  It just means that I have decided to look beyond those imperfections and be happy with my life. Complaining gets you no where. I complain far too often, when in reality, I have it better off than soo many other people. I have amazing friends and family! I go to a great school. I have a God that loves me no matter what! Things are good. I am beyond thankful for all of the lessons God has taught me. He has been and is currently working in my life in ways that I could never have imagined. He has great plans for my life. I may be confused now about what will happen in a few years, but if I put that trust and faith in Christ, then He will lead me in the right path. Trusting that God has got me in His hands and that His plans for me are better than my own is the thing that will keep me sane as I go through this crazy thing through life. Nothing is easy in this life, but if we have God helping us and guiding us every step of the way then we can take a deep breath and know that we can accomplish anything!

One thing that I have realized lately is that if I had only listened to God before, things would be much easier. One thing in my life I knew God was telling me to get rid of but I didn't until recently. Now that I have, I feel soooo much better. This thing was not bad, just not right for me. I feel better knowing that I listened to God and I can't wait to see what He has planned for me! Listening to God is the best thing we can do as Christians. It's not always easy, but is always for the best! Remember God's love for us and stand firm in Christ! :)